Moana is sending this mama mad

June 19, 2017

Cartoon courtesy of Jess Rae of Doodley Squat.

MY DAUGHTER’S new obsession is becoming my worst nightmare.
I eat, sleep and (well you know what else) Moana.
It’s everywhere I go.
I can’t get away from it.
Even in my peaceful slumber, I dream about it.
At work, I find myself singing We Know the Way without even realising it, much to the irritation of my co-workers.
Moana has been on a seemingly endless loop at our place since Maya got it for her birthday earlier this month.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved the movie.
The first time I saw it.
Alright, alright, I admit it, probably for the first 20 times.
I love the strong female character and the life lessons the film teaches about patience, cultural diversity and self-belief.
However, if I have to hear Dwyane ‘The Rock’ Johnson sing You’re Welcome one more time I’m going to snap.
I am, as you might well have divined by now, stuck between the Rock and a hard place.
You see, the girls and I have a tendency to be extremists when we love something.
Whether it is songs, movies, books or games, it doesn’t matter — we listen, watch, read and play the crap out of them.
Like those sad junkies of TV crime shows we overdose on them until we end up loathing them.
It’s sad but true.
It happened with Frozen.
For months, all Maya wanted to be and talk and sing about and look like was Elsa.
And I thought Olaf was so cute and funny.
I never thought there would come the day when I would find myself wanting to see that bloody little snowman disappear into a puddle via some form of animated metamorphosis.
All the Frozen toys and merchandise I bought for her, or she received as gifts, is now hidden in the deep crevices of my house never to be seen again. But it was all for naught, as I should have known it would be.
Because my darling children have moved on, now it’s all about wanting to be and look like Moana.
And it now being winter I am pretty certain a little grass skirt and crop top are not going to cut it.
I will now raise a glass to all those in my situation with the promise we will get through this latest obsession together – with the help of some of mummy’s magic maroon medicine.

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