In fact, I’m just wearing a bra and undies and not even my best ones at that.
My heart drops and the panic sets in.
I wake up with a fright and it takes a few seconds to realise it was all a bad dream.
This is a recurring nightmare of mine I have at least once a month and leading up to opening night of The Addams Family on Friday night, it became a weekly ritual.
Thankfully the real deal was far from my weekly night terror.
Opening night is a feast for the senses: the smell of hairspray wafts through the halls, people rushing in and out of change rooms, the taste of lipstick. You can feel the electricity in the air.
The make up room is a buzz with chatter.
There are so many faces (not to mention painting half the cast white) to transform, the make-up artists (Julie Raverty, Dianne McDonell, Lauren Chan and Joanne Visca) have to work their magic as fast as they can.
I’m sure I drive Di crazy as it’s hard to sit still with so much excitement running through my veins and jokes flying through the room.
But she’s a true professional and has me, as well as my bosom, looking the part in no time. While Julie Raverty keeps me shine-free and busty in the half-time break.
Costumes are next and there is no time for modesty in the theatre.
I rip my clothes off haphazardly before I delicately slide into my velvet gown, beautifully made by dressmakers Jaspa Frankish and Jean Pedretti.
Wardrobe malfunctions are common so these amazing women, including Maureen Huthnance, are always on hand for emergency repairs.
Wigs are next. With almost everyone in the show wearing a wig, it’s a time-consuming process for our hairdressers but something they’ve got down to a fine art.
This is the moment I really become Morticia.
My gorgeous hairdresser Shelley Peterson share an inside joke every show and she never lets me leave without my hair looking as shiny and luscious as possible.
Our voices need to be at their absolute best so vocal warm-ups are essential.
Our musical director Victoria Pannett, who is so talented she managed to make me sound like I can actually sing, takes us through our paces with some weird and wacky vocal exercises. People walking past the green room must wonder what on Earth is going on inside with the strange noises we make.
Then it’s the director's turn.
Luke Westley pumps us up with an inspiring speech and tells us to leave it all on the stage. It’s been a long and, at times, gruelling rehearsal process but every repetitive scene and every late night has led us to this very moment.
Luke is the reason we’re all here and we want to make him proud as well as impress the hell out of the audience.
And with my daughters in the crowd, I also need to prove to them anything is possible. Including following your passions as well as proving age is no barrier and hard work pays off.
So when those lights dim, the curtains open, the music starts, the spotlight finds me and I open my mouth, my voice does everything but fail me.
So how did the show go you ask? Well, you’ll just have to come along and find out won't you?