‘I learnt to survive days without water or food’: domestic violence survivor tells her story

“The toll was too much (out on the streets). I had no choice but to go back to the family unit and hope things were better, which they weren’t,” she said.

Sarah witnessed family violence from early childhood through to her early teens, when she herself became a victim of physical assault at home.

“When I was only 19, I left my family unit,” she said.

“That was my first experience of homelessness, during which time I was sexually assaulted.

“I had to make a decision — either let this control me and impact my future, or choose to thrive within this world with the passion I do have towards any form of injustice towards anyone.”

Sarah went on to graduate RMIT University with a Bachelor of Arts in criminal justice administration.

She worked for several years for the Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) with people who had extensive histories of violence or sexual abuse.

Sarah resigned from that role to provide care and support for her parents when her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and her father with cancer.

She later returned to work with DHHS, investigating sexual or physical violence that occurred within DHHS-funded houses.

Sarah was dealing with family violence. Meanwhile, she was given administrative powers to sell her grandmother’s property to secure her permanent care accommodation.

“I soon started receiving threats against me by other family members regarding the administration powers and the property sale, to the point it wasn't safe,” Sarah said.

“It was either stay and be hurt again by the same family member who did it to me at 19, or leave.

“I had no other choice. I left with my dog and the clothes I was wearing.”

It became nearly impossible for Sarah to maintain her job as her health deteriorated quickly.

She was diagnosed with pneumonia and tried to work from a laptop in a motel provided by Safe Steps.

As it was classified as emergency accommodation, Sarah was required to leave after seven days.

“I was out on the street again with my dog. There was an FVIO (family violence intervention order) in place, but I had no home, no clothes,” she said.

“In the end, I used up all my savings, my leave, and was living in my car. I had nothing left just trying to keep myself safe.”

She will never forget the day she had to ask her boss if she could have a shower at the office before a corporate meeting, as she hadn’t had one for five days.

“I felt ashamed of the situation I was in. I felt dirty,” she said.

Sarah said victims of domestic violence were only eligible for a week’s emergency accommodation before being required to find a different place to stay.

“Services are tailored for those with a fixed address, so if you have to move again and again to keep safe, the process of accessing services starts all over again and you stay on a perpetual waiting list,” she said.

“If you have no credit, no phone, no fuel for your vehicle to even get to Centrelink to obtain services, to get funds, how do you survive?”

But by the time Services Australia did distribute funds to her, it was already too late as she was “sleeping rough”.

“What food? I learnt to survive four days without food and two days without water. You tell me how someone with pneumonia survives those circumstances,” she said.

Sarah was eventually able to rent a room in a share-house.

“Females can feel very vulnerable. It was a nightmare. I locked myself into the bedroom. I expected it to be safe, but it was safer going out into the cold streets, occasionally couch surfing,” she said.

Sarah said such hardship and pain put her mental and physical health in a terrible state.

“It got to a point where I attempted to take my own life. The pain, the suffering was too much,” she said.

“It was horrendous. I felt completely isolated as there were no services for someone in my situation.”

Sarah applied for public housing and endured a nine-month wait for her application to be assessed.

Meanwhile, she was still sleeping rough and living in her car, day-in, day-out, short of food, water and regular showers.

Sarah said the toll was too much and after 10 months living out of her car, there was “no choice but to go back to the family unit”, hoping she could survive the inevitable.

“A bad decision,” she said.

Sarah attempted suicide a second time and found herself in hospital.

It was only after her medical team advocated for approval of her housing application that she was able to start applying for properties.

Seven months later, she was finally allocated a house.

Sadly, one in four women in Australia will experience domestic violence in their lifetime.

It is the main cause of women and children becoming homeless in Australia.

Unfortunately, many who are affected by domestic violence struggle to make that call to police, and if they do escape, become homeless or live in impoverished circumstances.

“Offenders may be incarcerated with the safety, security, protection and medical aid they require, while women and others who have been perpetrated against are out on the street looking for shelter,” Sarah said.

“What about these victims who are trying to survive? Currently the funding allocated for victim survivors is disproportionate to the money spent on incarcerated offenders.”

Jacky Targett, the Captain at the Salvation Army in Kyabram, said in most small towns there was no emergency accommodation for domestic violence victims.

“We struggle to find housing for domestic violence victims because there is no emergency accommodation in Kyabram,” she said.

Ms Targett said victims in this situation found it difficult to see a future past all the abuse.

“It takes a long process for them to think ‘this is not where I want to be, I’ve really got to get out of this’,” she said.

“Some find it scarier to escape as they must find housing, struggle financially and provide for themselves and children, which is an off-putting experience.”

Ms Targett, who has supported Sarah and many other victims in the Campaspe Shire, said nobody deserved to be a victim of someone else’s abuse.

“No-one should be dumped to fend for themselves,” Sarah said.

She currently aims to work with supporting other victims of domestic violence.

For assistance, please phone Lifeline’s 24-hour suicide help line on free-call 131 114. Children and young adults aged under 25 can also call the Kids Helpline on free-call 1800 551 800.