It was a cathartic exercise mostly, but also a way for Fiona to explain to her own children why their granny — Fiona’s mother, Cathy Cleary — was “always so sick” and couldn’t get out of bed.
It’s based on what the family was seeing as Cathy fell deeper and deeper into a depression spiral over five years, before experimental psychosurgery changed her life.
Complete with illustrations from her mother-in-law and Deniliquin artist Esther Waters, Fiona set about finding a publisher for her book as soon as it was finished.
It was never picked up, but it’s been used by the family as a teaching aid ever since.
Fiona was always adamant it should be widely available to help people adapt to inevitable changes in their family dynamic, so she recently had the book self-published instead.
With the help of Little Steps Publishing, her book is now available online and at a few locations around Deniliquin.
Making the timing of the release more poignant for the family is that Esther has been diagnosed with dementia.
Her family are now seeing similar withdrawals in their nana that they saw almost two decades earlier with their granny.
“I wrote the book when my son Charlie was four,” Fiona said.
“Writing it was a therapeutic exercise for me, but also a way to explain what was happening with Mum.
“It can help explain not only the effects of depression, but dementia, illness from cancer ... any of those big things that happen in an adult’s life that kids don’t fully understand.
“Being a teacher, I made sure to add a handy list on how to help children cope with depression in someone close to them.’’
And Cathy has long used Fiona’s then unpublished book as a tool when speaking to groups about her experiences with depression and the experimental surgery.
“Pat (Cathy’s husband) and I were still living in Cowra then, on a sheep farm, and one day I just started feeling depressed,’’ Cathy said.
Cathy’s doctors tried everything — all types of medications, electroshock therapy and even transcranial magnetic stimulation — but nothing was working.
Overtaken by the depression, Cathy was willing to give up. Her doctors were not.
They pushed for her to be one of eight people to take part in what was then a new trial.
A device was fitted in Cathy’s chest and connected to her brain, sending continual but non-aggressive charges for neurostimulation.
“It’s been a miracle, and 18 years later they’re still only just starting to look at it (as a treatment option),” Cathy said.
The book is available from the Deniliquin Peppin Heritage Centre, Crossing Cafe, Leaves and Vines Nursery, Deniliquin Newsagency and Bookstore and Edward River Art Society gallery. Online sales are through Amazon, and Fiona’s website.
• Anyone requiring crisis support can contact Accessline on 1800 800 944, Lifeline Australia on 131 114, BeyondBlue on 1300 224 636 or Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800.
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