Mama Mayhem

“Mummy, I don’t want to be 10.“ Maya, I don’t want to be 50.

By Ivy Jensen

MY LITTLE baby turns double digits this week.

Which probably means I can’t call her my little baby anymore.

I can’t believe it’s been 10 years since Maya rushed into the world after a short and sharp three-hour labour.

And while she couldn’t wait to be born, my still nine-year-old is not so keen about getting older.

In fact, she would like to be nine forever.

Funnily enough, I felt the same way at her age.

To the point I would become melancholy and anxious about one day having to leave home and eventually die. There was no in-between. Getting old meant death.

I told my parents I would never leave them and wanted to live with them forever.

They would chuckle and tell me I would no doubt change my mind in time, but I would steadfastly refuse and sob until they let me sleep in their bed (because I wanted to spend as much time with them before they too kicked the bucket).

Thankfully I grew out of this phase and realised there was a bit more involved between getting older and death, and by my teen years I craved the independence and freedom of living on my own (well, more like doing what I wanted).

Now Maya is set to turn big 10 on Wednesday, she too is contemplating the future and what this means for her.

And my little munchkin assures me she too will be living with me for as long as she lives.

At least until I told her that would mean paying rent, cooking and cleaning for me three times a week, giving me a nightly foot rub and absolutely no parties.

Anyhoo, to celebrate my darling daughter's decade in the world, I thought it worthy of her first interview.

I asked her 10 questions and this is what she had to say.

1. How does it feel to be turning 10?

It feels sad because I want to stay young.

2. Why do you want to stay young?

Because I am small and cute and have tiny feet.

3. What’s the best part about being young?

That I don’t have to pay for anything and I can play tiggy. Adults don’t normally play tiggy.

4. What was the best part of being nine?

Being a monkey in The Jungle Book musical and having fun with all my friends at school.

5. What was the worst part about being nine?

The coronavirus stopping me from seeing my friends. And growing bigger when I want to stay small.

6. What have you learnt during COVID-19?

That we have to be careful around people and stay inside and live like we did in the olden days.

7. Why do you think we need to get older?

So we can get money and spend it on things we need.

8. What's the best thing about getting older?

That I can pay for anything I want and need like a car and a house. And give things to my friends and family whenever I want.

9. What kind of person do you think you’ll be when you’re older?

Happy, confident and kind.

10. What do you think you’ll be doing in another 10 years?

Going to different places of the world. I also want to be a police officer or a singer.

MORE MAMA MAYHEM

All aboard for fun and games

Coronavirus is killing me, session by session

Mama’s place is not in the kitchen