Put your own lifejacket on first

Surely the right thing, the responsible thing, was to help your kids or your family first.

That’s what good people do, right?

But it wasn’t until I went through burnout myself that the meaning finally landed.

When life throws something unexpected at you — stress, pressure, exhaustion, health issues, responsibilities piling up — you’re far more able to support the people you love if you’re not running on empty.

It’s not selfishness; it’s simple.

A depleted person can’t offer steady hands. There’s no failure in that — just the realisation that we sometimes need to take a break.

The challenge is that culturally, many of us have been taught the opposite.

We grow up believing that tending to our wellbeing is indulgent, or that rest must be earned, or that the “strong” ones simply push through.

Some of us even take pride in being the helper — the one people lean on — and we quietly hold that identity long after it starts costing us.

At this time of year, that dynamic becomes even clearer.

The lists get longer. The deadlines get tighter. The expectations — internal and external — all seem to converge in the final weeks of the year. We want to finish strong at work, hold the family together, make Christmas meaningful, keep the wheels turning. And many people feel pressure to make it all perfect.

But perfection is a trap, especially when you’re tired.

And things rarely quiet down on their own.

That’s why the lifejacket metaphor is worth revisiting.

You don’t need grand gestures or hours of free time. You don’t need a perfect plan. Small acts, repeated gently, matter more than we realise.

Your wellbeing isn’t something down the list that you’ll get to when the other 15 tasks are done. It’s the one per cent shifts — the little things you can do right away:

A short walk outside.

Ten minutes of breathing space.

A coffee with a mate you’ve been meaning to catch up with.

A moment to notice what you’ve already carried this year — rather than what you haven’t yet done.

Allowing something to be good enough instead of perfect.

These aren’t luxuries. They’re stabilisers.

As my eldest moves through exams and my youngest navigates the world of screens and expectations, I’ve been reminded that our kids don’t need us to be superhuman.

They need us to be present, steady and human — which requires us to look after ourselves first.

So as the year winds down, I hope you take a moment to recognise not just the tasks you completed, but the resilience you’ve shown. The small wins.

The quiet achievements. The way you kept showing up.

Put your own lifejacket on first.

Everything else — family, work, community, connection — follows from there.

• Dr Dan Harrison is a psychologist based at Liberation Health Echuca. His ‘Resilient’ workshop supports mental wellbeing and is raising funds for Movember and Beyond Blue. For details or to register, visit spark.lumenara.io/echuca or pop in and speak with Amy Harrison at Liberation Health.