HOW early is too early for work Christmas parties?
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Personally, I think the earlier the better because who doesn’t want to get into the Christmas spirit as soon as possible?
But a few humbugs in the office think our November 30 Christmas party is just too soon.
Now, come on. The following day is December 1 when, by tradition, all the Christmas trees and decorations should be going up anyway.
Which is my second favourite day of the year - behind Christmas Day of course.
However, considering our work Christmas party will have everything from a bucking bull to all-you-can-drink cocktails, I may be a little worse for wear on December 1.
Last year’s attempts to stay on the bull left me with a giant purple bruise on the inside of my thigh.
Holding on the longest made it all worthwhile though.
But lesson learnt. I will be wearing jeans (and may even throw on a cowboy hat) this time round.
Unfortunately for me, and mercifully for everyone else, there will be no karaoke.
But there will be a live band, plus a jumping castle, balloon artist and face painting.
I am going to ask the balloonist to make me an Oscar because, well because I've always wanted one - and then might ask the face painter to make me look like Gwyneth Paltrow (because she has an Oscar and we blondes with personalities that aren't exactly mainstream need to stick together).
And what better way to show it all off than hopping on a miniature train ride.
Yes, I understand some colleagues may be bringing their family to the party, but nowhere on the invite did it specify these are children-only activities.
Speaking of children, mine won’t be making an appearance at this year’s Christmas gathering.
Which is probably a good thing, considering they took over the photobooth last time, snapping themselves wearing every costume they could find, thus emptying the Polaroid film supply.
It may be the reason why the photobooth is not making an appearance this year. But they have included lawn games, so I am looking forward to playing a refined yet spirited spot of croquet or a civilised (but cutthroat, oops, I mean competitive) game of bocce.
And if there are prizes, this is a perfect way to lead into December and get everyone into the Christmas spirit.
Because come December 1, whether my colleagues like it or not, the carols will be a playing and the office will be transformed into a Christmas wonderland.
And if they don’t like it, they can take their miserable, shrivelled souls and go on leave early this year so as not to ruin the dazzling display I have dreamt up - and the ensuing ambience I anticipate.
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