The email had already been flagged as suspicious and had been sent to several staff members. After searching the name and email address, I found similar reports going back years.
So instead of replying as myself, I created a fake investigation persona called Jack.
Jack was a single tradie, not confident with computers, and living a quiet life. No real personal details were used. No real photos were sent. No money was ever sent.
The goal was to safely see how far the scam would go.
What followed showed how romance scams build slowly.
The scammer, who we have called Elin, did not ask for money straight away. First came friendship. Then regular emails. Then affection. Then future plans. Then a story about a sick family member.
By the time the first money request arrived, it was not framed as “send me money”. It was framed as helping someone Jack had come to care about.
Elin said her mother needed expensive medication. Then came the promise that the money would only be a loan. Later, she introduced a project story, claiming she would be paid once the project was completed and would then repay Jack.
Documents were sent as supposed proof, including identity documents, project paperwork and company information. At a quick glance, some of it looked convincing enough to make a person doubt themselves.
That matters because victims often defend the scammer using the “proof” they have been given.
During the investigation, Jack told Elin that a mate had warned him she might not be real and that it sounded like a scam. Instead of walking away, Jack defended her. He said he had seen her passport, licence, project details and company information.
That is one of the hardest parts of romance scams.
Friends and family may see the red flags clearly, but the victim may feel emotionally attached. When someone challenges the scam, it can feel like they are attacking the relationship.
The scam then escalated again.
Jack said he had no spare money after paying bills and his mortgage. That one word — mortgage — changed the direction of the scam. If someone has a mortgage, they may own a home, and if they own a home, scammers may start thinking about loans or credit.
Elin then began pushing Jack towards the bank.
She suggested Jack ask for a loan, but not tell the bank the real reason. She encouraged him to make the loan about something personal, such as repairs.
That is a massive red flag.
If someone tells you to lie to a bank, stop. If someone tells you to say a loan is for one thing when it is really to send money overseas, that is not love. That is manipulation.
In the end, Jack claimed the bank refused the loan and placed restrictions on sending money overseas. After that, the daily affection slowed, and the scammer eventually went quiet.
That tells us something important.
Once there was no money coming, the relationship disappeared.
Romance scams target something deeply human: loneliness, kindness, trust, and the need to feel connected.
If you or someone you know may be caught in a romance scam, stop sending money and speak to someone you trust. Contact your bank immediately if money has been sent. You can also report scams to Scamwatch at scamwatch.gov.au, and IDCARE provides support for people affected by scams, identity misuse and cybercrime.
You can hear the full two-part Ask A Tech investigation, I replied to a romance scammer, on the MMG app or Spotify.
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