Mama Mayhem

Mama finds perks to mask wearing

By Ivy Jensen

NEVER in a million years would I have thought a face mask would become the latest fashion accessory.

But here we are.

You just have to look around to see masks of every shape, size and colour adorning the faces of family, friends and strangers.

While many are opting for the disposable surgical masks, others are changing it up with handmade covers.

People endowed with sewing skills (not me) are using coloured and patterned material to create some pretty funky designs.

I would, however, advise against a skin-coloured mask, as my 10-year-old daughter Maya looks like Hannibal Lecter out of the movie The Silence of the Lambs.

Quite disturbing, really.

Now, we all know we have to wear masks, and most of us are, in an effort to protect others from this deadly disease. But let’s face it — they’re not the most comfortable thing to wear.

They fog up glasses, make it hard to breathe and drink a cup of coffee, pull at your ears and they're claustrophobic and restrictive.

Another downside I’ve discovered is my iPhone doesn’t recognise me, so I have been forced to type in my password because face identification doesn’t work. First World problems, right?

Now, we can whinge and complain all we like about wearing face coverings, but that’s not going to help the situation, is it?

So, to help us through this time, I have compiled a list of 20 perks to wearing a face mask that you may not have thought about.

1. You can mouth obscenities at your frenemies without their knowledge.

2. Use the mask as a feed bag. Just hide a few smarties or M&Ms in it for an easy go-to snack.

3. No more bad breath (what’s more, you’ll find out pretty quickly if you have a problem).

4. Sick of smelling your colleague’s body odour, burps or worse? No more.

5. Use 50 per cent less make-up.

6. Got some black seaweed stuck in your teeth after sushi for lunch? No matter.

7. You can hide a double chin, big nose and bad teeth.

8. You can hold Mask of the Week/Month competitions at your workplace.

9. Men (and some women) don’t have to shave.

10. Hormonal skin breakouts don’t have to be an embarrassment anymore.

11. You can avoid that awkward smile when walking past a stranger on the street.

12. Can’t whistle? Blame it on the mask.

13. Snacking will become harder.

14. Keeps your face warm on those frosty mornings.

15. If you’re a Top Gun fan, you can cosplay as Maverick preparing for a mission.

16. You will look younger as lack of smiling will help stop wrinkles from forming.

17. No more sloppy kisses from Papa (this one’s from my 10-year-old daughter Maya, talking about her grandpa — sorry Geoff).

18. You can walk around looking like a bad-ass bank robber from the wild west without arising suspicion.

19. You will become better at things, like climbing Mt Everest, that require you to breathe in less oxygen.

20. Bad habits, like picking your nose and chewing your fingernails, will become a thing of the past.

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